Conflict and grief

"A divorce does not always go smoothly. Sometimes there is tremendous pain and grief because of things that occurred during your marriage. No matter how hard you try, each time you seem to end up in endless discussions that may end in outbursts. With dire consequences, as communication and contact deteriorate. You get into a downward spiral.

Together you have children and you notice that they are suffering. Sometimes you find yourself losing sight of the best interests of the children because you are constantly in "fight mode. You fear that a fighting divorce is imminent, but do not know how to break through it.

These days there is a lot of talk about "fighting divorces. In this word, the emphasis is on the word "fight. But in addition to the conflict that takes place, there is also tremendous loss. This is not only the loss of partner, partial loss of the children but also loss of trust, existing financial securities, family and friends, home and hearth etc.

In other words, divorce produces loss and causes mourning. You often experience this mourning alone; your (former) partner has no knowledge of it. It simply ignores what you both had together and what you both lost."

Purpose SCHIP approach

The goal of the SCHIP approach is for (former) partners to reconnect with each other so that they are then able to act together in their joint parenting.

That connection was broken with the divorce. A new connection must be made with each other, especially because of the children. This is not a choice but dire necessity. You can divorce as partners but not as parents. Children bear the brunt of divorce. Children of divorced parents are vulnerable in school, are at greater risk for mental health issues, may develop poorer relationships with their parents, and are more likely to divorce later as well.

New connection SCHIP approach

To establish the new connection as partners in parenthood, it is important to dwell on that which has been lost. To stand still in mourning. The damaged HEART must be healed so that it can open again. Because if you as ex-partners are able to look together at the losses and conflicts in the relationship, give them a place, come clean, then you are able to work together in parenthood.

Certified SCHIP handler

As a licensed and certified SCHIP practitioner, we can guide you through the process of ending your relationship to then shape joint parenthood. 

The website https://www.schipaanpak.com/ik-zoek-hulp/ has even more information about the SCHIP approach.

The core of the SCHIP approach is attention to Grief as well as Restoration of Trust.

The PlusTeam has certified SCHIP practitioners, namely.

• Franklin Saitch
• Marielle Loijen
• Zinzi Spee